One big problem that I’ve been dealing with lately is hitting publish. I’ve been so overwhelmed with putting myself out there. Hitting publish is something that I’ve been afraid of and it’s a fear that I shouldn’t let hold me back. But it has. My thoughts usually go like this:
“There are so many people that are better than me or have already shared their perspective.”
“How can I possibly fit into a community so magical and real that other people have already started?”
“How can I actually make a difference and add value to the lives of others?”
With all of the second guessing and overwhelm I sometimes get paralyzed with these fears. Fears that I now realize I’m basically making up for myself.
Kathleen Shannon from Braid Creative and Being Boss has given me some homework. She wants to help me get out of my fear of hitting publish and get into sharing what I love and I’m so passionate about. I’ve written tons of posts already that have been collecting dust in in my digital filing cabinet. Kathleen has challenged me to hit publish and let people know about it. I’m sharing this with you, for accountability and to help if you’re also struggling with hitting publish – you’re not alone.
After, my trip to Being Boss Miami, I realized how much I have really been holding back and I’m ready to put myself out into the world even more for better or for worse. Connecting in person is so much easier because it opens things up for conversation more naturally. After being around so many amazing women and sharing my story a real authentic way, I feel like I’ve found my confidence in my voice and what I have to say.
As I was telling stories over dinner, on the beach under the moon, and poolside at 3 a.m., I realized that what I have to say, really did touch the hearts of others. They loved me and my stories. I loved them and their stories too. We chatted for hours and hours — as you do in a giant slumber party. It felt like with each new layer that we were pulling back, we were all finding a confidence that we’ve pushed down in the depths of our minds at one time or another.
After being home for a week, I’m declaring that I’m not afraid to exist and I can’t let the fear of hitting publish hold me back. The fraudy feelings that I sometimes get from putting myself out are real and I acknowledge them but I know what I’m talking about. I’m ready to share all about the things that I’ve learned and have deep down in my heart. From now on I’m going to look at sharing things online as I would sharing things to my friend over dinner — it’s almost the same thing, because we’re friends right?
Another thing that I realized is staying in your head is dangerous territory. Putting your fears out into the world, frees you from them and allows you to deal with them in a more realistic way. If you keep them in your head you’re going to feed them and they’re going to grow. By sharing them, your friends can help pull you back off the ledge. They can tell you that you’re not thinking realistically and can also offer ways to push past your fears.
So, here I am I’m about to hit publish. Yes, I’m a little nervous but I’m more excited that I have a place on this Earth. I deserve to exist and I can’t wait to keep sharing what I’m doing, what I know, and what I’m learning with all of you smart, amazing, beautiful people.
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